A fly on the wall
by harmswife
Summary: Finished We all know Bud and Sturgis have secrets they know of Harm's and Mac's. What if Bud and Sturgis were to tell each other what they know, but are overheard by Harm and Mac? I would love to be a fly on the wall of this, hence the title!
1. Default Chapter

Benzinger's ~ 1843 EST  
  
Harm and Mac were finally back in the United States. It had been a long journey, and  
  
they were glad to be back. Harm looked over at Mac with her broken arm, set in a marine  
  
green cast. His own cast, a navy blue one, was protecting his lower leg. They were sitting  
  
in the very back booth of Benzinger's, with Harm's crutches resting against the wall. The  
  
Admiral told them not to come in until Monday, and it was only Thursday night. The  
  
Admiral explained that he had informed everyone at JAG that they were safe, and on  
  
their way home. He also informed them that Harm and Mac would not be back until  
  
Friday morning, wanting to give them some rest before everyone started to come see  
  
them. They were grateful to him for this. Their flight got in late, and they took a cab to  
  
Harm's first. Neither one of them could drive really, but Mac could drive easier than he  
  
could. So, she was going to take his car over to her place, and get some things and head  
  
back to his place. They were both relieved that his SUV was not a standard. They had  
  
been together the past two weeks, since the crash, and they were not quite ready to be  
  
alone yet. There was still so much to say to one another. That was why they were here  
  
tonight, and not yet ready to be alone again.   
  
After the crash, it had taken them four days to get to the military base in Paraguay, since  
  
Harm could not walk that well. The military search team, led by Gunny, had found them  
  
on the fourth day. The Army had found the remains of the missles, and the plane the day  
  
before, and tracked them. Harm and Mac had decided to stay in Paragay for a few days to  
  
stay with Webb, who was still in the hospital in a coma. They were there for another four  
  
days before Webb woke up. It took another five days to get passports from the Embassey  
  
and to get plane tickets back to the United States. The doctors would not let them go any  
  
earlier anyways, they were watching Mac's arm. She had a greenstick fracture, and they  
  
didn't cast it until two days before she left Paraguay. She had been in a sling, and the  
  
doctors had put some skin glue on it to keep the gash together. They had not wanted to do  
  
stitches under the cast.   
  
Mac had told Harm about all that had happened from the time that Webb approached her  
  
to the time that Harm had rescued her. The whole story, including how Webb had tried to  
  
protect her the whole time, and why he had wanted her on this mission to begin with. She  
  
remembered how she reacted to the news that Harm was no longer a Naval officer, and  
  
what the Admiral had ordered Harm do to, or better yet, ordered him not to do. The  
  
Admiral was a SEAL, and he would be the first to chew someone's six out for leaving a  
  
man behind. Mac was angry at the Admiral, more than angry really, she was furious.  
  
How could have expected Harm to sit in his office and know that someone out there Mac  
  
was fighting for not only her life, but the lives of Webb and Gunny also.   
  
They had talked about what came next. Mac wanted to see if there was any way the  
  
Admiral would take Harm back, much like he had when she had left. If there was no way  
  
that Harm could come back to JAG, Mac swore to follow him where ever he decided to  
  
go. Harm had jokingly told her about the offer to work at the CIA, and she told him in no  
  
uncertain terms would she allow him to work for them. She didn't want him to wind up  
  
on some unknown mission, and end up dead like she almost had. After what she had just  
  
gone through, she was scared for Webb, let alone the thought of Harm working for them.  
  
He promised her he would not go to work for them, not as long as she lived.   
  
They had finally talked about their relationship. Since Harm was no longer in the Navy,  
  
they were free to date. But, nothing had happened. Lost somewhere in the Paraguay  
  
woods was not how either one of them wanted to start a relationship. They focused on  
  
getting out of there, and staying alive more than they focused on the change in things.  
  
Later, when they were both safe and did not have to fight for their lives, they promised  
  
each other that they would sit down and talk. Both swore to one another that it would  
  
happen this time, and there was nothing that would stop them once they started. Harm  
  
told her he was ready to let go, to finally be with her, consequences be damned. Mac  
  
thought her heart was going to burst when he said that. She desperately wanted to believe  
  
that, but his track record was not helping. When she told him that, he had hung his head  
  
and agreed. "I guess I will just have to prove it to you then," he told her.   
  
Mac was trying not to whine about the itch under her cast. The glue holding the gash  
  
together was strong, but the healing was making her itch. From the opening of her bag,  
  
she pulled a pencil to slid under the cast and tried to relieve some of the itching.  
  
Harm started laughing at her when he finally realized what she was doing. "Mac, you  
  
need to not do that. You know what the doctors told you Marine." She just sighed and  
  
pulled it out.   
  
As she leaned down to put the pencil back in her bag, she noticed who had just walked  
  
through the door. 


	2. Friend or Foe?

A/N I forgot to put this in my first post, but this is my first JAG fic. I have done a few X-Files ones, and they are posted at the offical X-Files forum. This idea I got from someone at the USA JAG board, so I can't take credit for the idea, only the writing of it.   
  
Disclaimers: I don't own any of these characters, ect ect ect, no money is being made from my end off this fic, ect ect ect.   
  
Please R&R. I need to know if anyone wants me to continue....  
  
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"Harm, Sturgis just walked through the door. Try not to let him see us."   
  
Harm was not ready to face his pal yet, and pulled his baseball hat lower on his head to hide his face as he ducked his head. "It's a good thing I am the one facing him. At least I have a hat to hide behind, whereas you have nothing really. Just keep your head turned slightly to the wall, and maybe he won't stay long."   
  
Mac nodded. "The civvies might help too. We could look like anyone from behind really." Harm nodded his agreement. Harm watches from under his lashes as Sturgis sat down at the bar not that far from their booth. Harm and Mac could still whisper, and not be heard by Sturgis, but talking at a normal tone would give them away. But, they didn't risk saying anything, not ready to answer the questions that would undoubtably be forthcoming. They hear Sturgis order a beer, and watch him settle down on the stool. He begins talking to the barkeeper.   
  
After about a minute or two, Harm sees someone else walk in the door. Mac hears him groan and ask what is wrong. "Mac, Bud just walked it. It looks like he has just got done with his PT." They watch Bud settle next to Sturgis and the two begin to talk.   
  
"Hey Bud, how was therapy?"  
  
"Therapy went well. The doctor's say I am ahead of schedule." Bud beamed.  
  
"That is wonderful. I am proud of you Bud. Let me know when you are ready to start jogging again," Sturgis teases the man next to him.  
  
"I have a hard enought time keeping up with my four year-old. I think that is enough for now." Bud laughs, and is joined by Sturgis. "Any more news on the Commander and the Colonel?" Harm and Mac duck to hide some more, but wondering what they were going to be hearing.  
  
"The Admiral said they would be in tomorrow morning sometime, but he didn't want anyone going to visit until later in the afternoon." Sturgis informed Bud of the newest news.  
  
Bud thought about this for a moment, then replied. "Harriet has been waiting for them to come back. I think her mother-hen instincts are in full throttle, especially with the prenancy. But, they both need some pampering. The Admiral has only told us parts of what they went throught, and I can't imagine what he WASN'T telling us. I am still shocked that the Commander resigned his commission. But, when the Admiral told us why, I wasn't that shocked really. I just wonder...." Bud trailed off, but Sturgis knew what he meant.   
  
"I know Bud. Have they always been this bad?" Bud nodded at him. Sturgis just shook his head. "Harm once told me that he didn't have a girl, that she had him. I didn't get what he meant until I heard he had resigned. But, he loves her too much to sit in some office and do nothing about it. He had to go find her Bud."   
  
"I know sir. I just wonder what she is going to say when he tells her about his marriage.I am glad I won't be there for that." Bud watched Sturgis practically spewed the liquid in his mouth in shock.   
  
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What does Mac think of all of this??? Lets find out in the next post.... 


	3. The news it out

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I am sure that many of you have been trying to get to this website for many days, like me and found it unable to get to. I had this ready to post for many days now, so here it is. Please R&R!!!  
  
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"His what?!?! When did Harm get married?" Sturgis could not contain his utter shock at this announcement. His look matched one of a certain Marine Colonel sitting only a few feet away.   
  
Peering at her from under his lashes, it took every ounce of Naval training not to jump up and break Bud's jaw again. That would not work though. Even with it broken, Mac was the only one able to understand what he was saying. This is not how he wanted Mac to hear about his 'favor' either.   
  
Mac looked like someone had just shot her. Disbelief, pain, sorrow, and anger all pasted over her face as she looked at Harm, and saw the truth in his eyes. But, there was something she didn't know about it, she could tell.   
  
"His what? Bud, what aren't you telling me?" Sturgis was looking at Bud.   
  
"I think he better tell you. I think I already said too much sir. Please don't tell him I told you." Bud looked at the ranking officer, his eyes begging the older man not to repeat what he had let slip.   
  
"Relax Bud, I won't tell him. That man has something wrong with him if he thinks he can marry someone other than Mac and be happy. If this marriage of Harm's is serious, I don't think we are going to be seeing Mac anymore. I would be willing to bet that she transfers far far away from here, whether he is still at JAG or not. She loves him too much to stay here and know that he is married to someone else. Kinda sounds like what happened when she was engaged to Mic."   
  
Bud sighs. "Harriet and I both know that they love each other, and were made to be together, but neither one of them know what to do. They can't even admit it to themselves that they are in love with the other one."  
  
"Bud, Mac has admitted that she is in love with him." Sturgis informed the man.  
  
Mac could not believe what she was hearing. Under her breath, she whispered, "Sturgis, my friend, you and I are going to have a go at it when I get back to JAG." She heard Harm trying not to chuckle at her comment.   
  
Harm reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen. Grabbing a napkin, he wrote on it before turning it and passing it to Mac. "Mac, I think we both have something we need to talk about." He watched her nod before he continued. "We better wait until they have both left, we don't want them knowing that we heard them." Again, she agreed. They continued to sit hidden in the shadows while their friends continued the conversation, unaware of their friends sitting within hearing range.   
  
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Ok, does this sound like them?? LOL 


	4. More bad news

A/N: I wanted to have this up before now, and I am sorry I haven't gotten it up. This was suppose to be the end, but all my beta readers were begging for more after this....please, let me know your opinions. Do I keep writing, or end it here??? I would have had this up, but my dad has cancer, and had surgery yesterday.   
  
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Bud sat there looking at Sturgis with a dumfounded expression. "I can't believe she did that. Harriet is going to be upset she didn't know about this. My wife has been planning an engagement party for them for years now. Harriet is the hopeless romantic. And her pregnancy only makes it worse." Bud just shakes his head. His eyes catch the door opening and his wife walking in. Bud waves and she walks over to them.   
  
"Hello Commander. How are you doing?"  
  
"I am doing well Lutenient. How are you doing?"  
  
"Oh, I am doing just ducky. Any word from the Admiral on the Commander or the Colonel?"  
  
"I was just telling your husband that the Admiral informed us that they will be back tomorrow afternoon sometime."  
  
"That is wonderful. I better start baking some things for them. Chances are neither one of them are going to feel like cooking tomorrow night then. Maybe they would just prefer coming over to our house and eating. You don't think that this whole ordeal has been something that finally drew them together do you?" Harriett was so excited, she could barely stop to take a breath.  
  
Bud and Sturgis were laughing at her by the time she paused for her breath. "Honey, you are a hopeless romantic aren't you? And why don't you wait to talk to them before you start planning a welcome home party." Bud and Sturgis exchanged a glance before getting up. "Sturgis, we will see you later. I am sure my wife will be calling you about everyone getting together and welcoming the Commander and Colonel home." They shook hands and the couple walked out the door.  
  
Mac and Harm looked at one another and Mac rolled her eyes. 'Just what we need, a party with everyone there.' Mac thought to herself.   
  
Harm kept watching Sturgis, who got up and walked out the door a few minutes later. "Mac, I think we both learned something about each other that we should probably talk about. Lets go somewhere else to talk." With that, Harm grabbed his crutches and stood. Leaning over, he grabbed Mac's un-casted hand and pulled her to her feet. Then he just stood there, trying to figure out how to hold her hand while he worked his crutches. Finally, he weaved her fingers with the handle of his crutch between their hands. Steady on the crutches, the slowly made his way to the exit.   
  
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Ok, what does everyone think?? Please, tell me. Do I continue with this plot line, or do I stop here?? 


	5. The talk begins

A/N: Since I had such good feedback for this....here is more. Thank you everyone so much for your reviews. You have no idea how that makes me feel. I really appreciate it all.   
  
Mac drove them until they reached a deserted park near the water. Both had agreed that neutral ground was needed, and that ruled out their apartments. So, they ended up at the park. Helping Harm out of the car and getting him steady on his crutches, she looped her fingers through his beltloop on his jeans and walked beside him until they reached a  
  
bench with a clear view of the ocean through the trees. Mac sat down and Harm sat beside her. Both of them were looking out at the ocean, and the crashing of the waves as the sun set somewhere behind them. Neither one really wanted to begin, not that they knew how too really. That was part of the problem, they could never talk about it straight  
  
out. They had always in the past just danced around the subject, never directly talking about it. Mac finally had to ask him though. "Harm, are you really married?"   
  
He barely heard her, and she was not looking at him. The strangled whisper had torn at his heart, and he leaned over and put a finger under her chin, making her face him. She still would not look him in the eyes though. "Mac, look at me." After a few seconds, she did, and he could see the tears that threatened to spill over. "Mac, I will tell you anything you want to know, but you have to do the same for me. No more talking around the subject, tonight, we talk about it. Deal?" She nodded, and he continued. "I am not legally married, no. The story is long and complicated, and I will tell you, just wait until the end  
  
to ask me questions OK?" She nodded again, and he drew in a breath and began the tale.   
  
Mac felt many emotions go through her listening to him talk. Hurt, betrayal, anger, jealousy, amazement, and mostly awe. By the time he had finished, he had one again turned to watch the waves, and Mac thought the ever changing scenery must be the picture of what was going on in her mentally. Thoughts crashed over her brain as the waves crashed over the sand on the beach. The sand, like her mind, was constantly bombarded with more water, with no rest or lull. She sat there a few minutes trying to figure out what everything meant, for him, for Catherine, for herself, and most importantly, for them. He had done this to find her, to get help to find her. Harm, the man so afraid of commitment that he ran from it, had gotten 'married' just to get help in finding her. She didn't know if she was suppose to be flattered or disgusted. And she told him that too. He just sighed, and could not answer that for her.   
  
Harm didn't press her to say anything. He knew it was alot to take in, and he was still trying to understand what he had been thinking at the time. He was surprised at her silence though, he had honestly expected her Marine-anger. This silence though, it was scaring him. When he thought he could take it no more, she finally spoke.   
  
"Harm, I can't say what exactly I am feeling right now, but I know you did what you did to find me. You turned to the one person you thought you could get some help from, but she needed your help also. I have always known you would do anything to help out someone, but I never thought you would do this, or go this far."  
  
"Mac, I can't say I have ever thought it either. All I could think about was finding you. She promised to help me if I helped her. I would have done almost anything to find you at that point. I could not get help from the Admiral, Webb was with you, I had no where else to go. I didn't know where else to turn. Finding you was the most important thing to me...," Harm trailed off.   
  
Mac knew that they had arrived at that point in the relationship again. The one they always reached, and one of the always seemed to ruin. Well, not this time. This time, they were going to talk about it. "Why Harm? Why were you so worried about me?"  
  
Harm knew what she was asking, and he knew now was the time to tell her everything. "Mac, that night you came to my apartment, wearing that pregnancy belly, I thought that all my dreams were crashing around me. You were pregnant, and until I felt the fake suit, I was really scared. Seeing you pregnant, well, it made me jealous. I thought we were  
  
getting closer, and all the sudden you showed up at my door obviously pregnant. You looked wonderful, and suddenly my head was filled with visions of you as a mom, with a child in your arms, our child. Then you told me you were going on a mission with Webb, and I didn't know if I would ever see you again. Webb's missions never go smoothly, something always happens on them. I just had this gut feeling that this one would be no exception, and it turned out I was right. I just could not sit in DC pretending that there was nothing wrong in this world, while you were out there risking your life. Remember how we once said that no matter where we are on this planet, we could know where and what the other one was thinking? I know that is true." Harm finished his speech, and only then noticed that at some point during his talking, they had begun holding hands. He pulled her hand up to his mouth and softly kissed the back of her hand. They sat there for another few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts before Harm broke the silence again. "Mac, you know what Bud was talking about now, will you tell me what Sturgis meant when he told Bud that you had told someone that you loved me?" He noticed her eyes slip from their interlinking fingers to the star-filled sky above them. 


	6. What is Mac's side of the saga?

A/N Thank you everyone for your wonderful and helpful feedback. I really appreciate it. Sorry for not updating this earlier....life happens. LOL Only a few more chapters left. :(  
  
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Mac preceded to tell him her story, and he wanted to kick himself in the six. 'Geez, Rabb, could you be any denser?' he thought to himself. He had seen all the signs, but he just ignored them as usual. And, he knew now what Sturgis had been hiding, and why his two best friends had suddenly become so close. He just wished it had not taken them this long to admit it to each other, but he knew they needed this time to figure everything out. "Mac, I knew there was something that suddenly made you and Sturgis closer, but I had no idea that this is what it was. You must have felt like he was the person you could trust the least, next to Singer." Their thoughts turned to horrible times not that long ago. "I still can't believe she is gone. I keep expecting her to waltz through that door and try to take over JAG again."  
  
"I know what you mean. We have not had time to really think it through, with you being arrested for her murder, and me leaving soon after you got out. We always seem to do that, miss each other like that. Why do we do that? Seem so close, only to have something come rip us apart when we should be together."  
  
"I don't know Mac. I wish I could figure it out though. Maybe if we stop taking Webb's crazy missions, then it wouldn't happen so much," Harm joked.   
  
"Well, we don't know if you will have the chance to even be a part of his crazy plans anymore. I know I don't plan on doing one of his missions again for a long long time, if ever again. I don't think he is the same person as he was before he was sent to Paraguay though. He actually told me he didn't even trust himself. I have never seen Webb like I saw him in Paraguay. He was not sure of anything anymore it seemed. I have never seen him like that. It was definately not the Webb we are use too. But, he did what he had to do to protect me, to protect the secret we were hiding. When it was found out that I was not pregnant, it became so much worse for him, and for me. I just could not stand to see him hurt anymore, he would not have made it. He was willing to die to save me, to keep me safe for a while longer. But, I could not have let him do that. I had to do what I had to do, just like he had to do what he had to do. Webb doesn't have anyone he can trust, except me, and you too."  
  
Harm sighed. "If he trusts me so much, why didn't he just let you tell me about the mission?"  
  
Mac smiled at this. "Harm, can you tell me one time that Webb has ever told us everything that we needed to know when we are on a mission? Even when there was the threat of a biological weapon at the Sudanese Embassy, he didn't tell us about it." Harm agreed with her, still a little peeved about the whole thing. "Harm, we are the only ones that he trusts to complete these missions. And, he thinks we are the best. That is why he keeps calling us in to help him."  
  
"I know Mac. Can I ask you something?" He turned slightly to watch her out of the corner of his eye.  
  
Mac sighed. She knew this was coming, and had been expecting it. "You want to know why I kissed him don't you?" She watched him nod. "Honestly, I don't know for sure. I just wanted thank him for everything he had done. He was in that state because of me. And, I didn't want to hear what I was scared he was going to say to me. I didn't want to hear some deathbed confessions coming out of his mouth. I could not have handled that then."   
  
Harm reached over and put and arm around her shoulders, and pulled her close to him. "Thanks to you, Webb is alive. And thanks to him, you are alive. It is all going to be OK now." He felt her nod against his shoulder.   
  
Mac felt warm and safe with his arms around her. She reached around him and put her arms around his chest and snuggled closer to him. "Now what Harm? Where do we go from here? I don't want to go back to the beginning. I don't want to talk about what happened in the past. I just want to know where we stand now, and what we do about the future."   
  
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As much as I disliked Singer, NC did a wonderful job playing her. Singer was that one character that we loved to hate. (does that make sense to anyone else?) Me personally, I am going to miss Singer. As much as she got on my nerves, she had her good qualities. I still wanna know who the daddy is....maybe we will be lucky enough to find out this season somehow.... 


	7. Forget the Past, Focus on the Future

I am so sorry I have not posted the last of this earlier. I had it written, but got so busy!!!!! Life gets interesting...LOL. Here is the end! Please, let me know what you think!!!  
  
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"I don't want to go back to the beginning again either Mac, but I don't want to be at the end either. I want to be here, with you, and I want to be with you. I don't care anymore. I love you Sarah." He watches as she raises her head to look him in the eyes. There is shock and wonder in her eyes, and he smiles at her. "Yes, I finally said it. And I will say it again. I love you Sarah. As for where we go from here, what about we do the old fashioned thing, and date?"  
  
"Date, Harm?" she watched him nod. She thought about it for a second before continuing. "That sounds good to me. But, we better keep this to ourselves for now. I don't want everyone knowing that we are dating right away. And what about the Admiral? He can't know Harm, not if you want to try to go back to JAG."  
  
  
  
She heard Harm sigh before he told her. "Mac, when I resigned, the Admiral asked me what I was going to do when I found you. I think he already knows there is something. I think everyone already knows there is something between us. Even Sturgis knew there was something, and he only been there for less than a month when he first asked me about you."  
  
"How is it that everyone seems to know about us except us?"  
  
"I don't know Mac. But, that is part of the past...lets not think about it. The important thing is that we are moving ahead now." He watched her nod in agreement. Suddenly, he smiled. "You realize we finally had our talk? And it only took us a few years to do it." Harm and Mac both laugh at this. "Mac, I am not ready to end this night, but I am tired. There is still more to talk about, but I promise we can talk more later. What if we rented movies tonight and took them back to your place? I don't want to leave you anytime soon, and I am not ready to call it a night yet. But, I don't want to go out in public quite yet. I am not ready to face our friends yet."   
  
"That sounds like a wonderful idea Harm. Let's go get movies and go back to my place." They began getting up, and Harm reached for his crutches. Mac was standing in front of him when he finally stood. Looking up at him, she still could not believe he had said it. His eyes were watching her as she took her arm and hooked him around the neck to bring his head lower to where it was a few inches from her's. "Harm, I love you too. I have for so long." Having said that, she pulled him the remaining space between them and kissed him.   
  
The kiss said everything that they had and had not said that night. All the love, the apologies, the fears, the remore, it was all there. The kiss was soft, and tender. There were no more barriers, no more obstacles in their way. They would find a way to make this work, they silently promised each other. As they pulled away from one another, they smiled. Mac hooked her fingers back through his belt loops and walked beside him back to the car.   
  
Later on, at the apartment, they were sitting on the couch. Harm had his back turned to the corner of the couch, and his feet propped up on the coffee table. Mac was sprawled across the couch, leaning against Harm's solid chest. He had one arm wrapped around her middle, and the other was laying next to her, fingers intertwined with hers. They had changed when they got back to her place into some shorts and T-shirts. Her's said USMC, and his was an old Academy one he had left over at her apartment at some point over the years. Harm glanced down at her, and found her fast asleep. Gently untangling himself from her, he reached for the controlers and turned off the TV and the VCR. He then looked at her. Very gently, he put one hand behind her back, and the other under her knees. He lifted her and limped towards her bedroom, where he layed her softly on top of her covers. He reached across her and pulled the covers off the other side of the bed and used them to cover her with. Just as he was laying them down over her, she woke enought to realize what he was doing.   
  
"Harm," she whispered, "I can do that." She moved towards the other half of the bed and pulled the covers back over her. Then she reached over and held up the other side, the side she had just been laying on. "Harm, stay. You can't drive home, and you can't stay on my couch either. Please, stay here and hold me."   
  
Harm watched her before slowly climbing in next to her. As he got comfortable, she scooted closer to him and put her head on his shoulder. "Night Harm," she said and fell fast asleep. He put his arms back around her and fell fast asleep.   
  
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Ok, what did everyone think????? Please, be honest. I am working on a new one now.....should be posting it on here soon! Just so everyone knows...there is a new site that is awesome if you love JAG...www.jagfans.com 


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